Let Me Live In Peace

 Time for another write-up!

I just recently put a poll on Instagram for blog topic preferences from my social media family.

Handling Rejection and Avoiding Negative people were the two options- getting votes quite close to each other. But well, the latter won with a few extra patrons. So this post is going to be about Avoiding Negative People and of course, the next one on Handling Rejections.

The Ones On The Darker Side

We're all somewhere struggling between the poles of Positivity and Negativity. And while it's rare to find someone as pure as distilled water, most people can be categorised based on the frequency and amount of negative vibes that they exude...and above all...how far they affect you.

The insulting tribe....the backstabbers...the credit snatchers...the obstructing squad...the liars...the manipulators...the cynics...oh yes these species exist... and they are evolving, they will...always.

Unfortunately, there's never a "The End" like shown in classic movies...those evergreen Bollywood films where you're done with the villian forever. It's an ongoing process...and just as the villains evolve, we must transform too.

Who likes them? Nobody, right? And I so wish that there would be a vaccine to keep them away. Jokes apart, let's keep it realistic and concise...I'm here to share some ways that I've channelized myself to get over the persistent issue of negative people... a problem that's more pervasive than the pandemic.

So here are some questions I ask myself and the ways I analyse situations.

The Magnitude: How negative is the negative person?

This is the first question I ask myself when I face something that doesn't resonate with my essence, values, or preferences. Over the years, I've kept reminding myself that no one is perfect. I may not like a few things about others while they may be facing different issues with me. And if the magnitude of their negativity isn't much, then it's better to overlook the shortcoming instead of avoiding the person.

It feels good to have a rose even with a few thorns on it :)

The Presence: Is the negative person actually a part of my life? My routine? And how much?

Most often, we tend to replay negative instances in our mind. An unpleasant conversation that lasted five minutes can actually take over your brain for days. And when I look at it from a self-care perspective, the idea of holding on to the memory doesn't seem fair! So the struggle is not about avoiding negative people, but just getting over their negative memory.

Does this ease off some of your turmoil?

Well, I have more to share...

The Solution: Stop complaining, start working.

If the first two ways don't work out, then it's time to don the thinking hat and put on your running shoes...and be prepared for a fight back!

I won't deny...it's a struggle and we have to face it. For example, eve teasing at the workplace can't be ignored. You cannot let anyone else take credit for your efforts as well. And if someone is obstruction your progress, you gotta be jumping into the war zone and securing yourself. Your near and dear ones being mean have to be tackled too!

The foremost thing I've given up in such situations...and that has helped me a lot..is to avoid questioning. I usually connect such things to a walk in the garden. You come across mosquitoes, sometimes lizards, cockroaches, and creatures whose presence you may not like. And you spontaneously put them out of your way in different ways...or just change your route to enjoy your garden stroll.

Do you ever ask things like

"Why do these mosquitoes bite?"

You know they're there to bite you..and without wasting a moment you find a solution.

Questions about why people are being bad are mostly rhetoric... looping them up in your brain will never help. So, just save those moments and all the energy for the right solution...you'll need it!

The solution is unique though...and will have trade-offs....be balanced to follow the best option.

I hope this post gave you some clarity.

We can take the topic ahead over live sessions. Do let me know your feedback!